Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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