Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
