bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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