doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
