apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
