is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
