Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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