she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
