i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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