Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
