i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
