Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
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