Please, let me fuck your mom
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
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