so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
