i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
