Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
