Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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