i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I think my vagina is haunted
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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