It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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