At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
