fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
