I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
should my penis look like a turkey
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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