dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
