You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
