On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize