I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
