I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
So squirting runs in the family.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize