Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
