$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
