My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
