You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
