My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
