its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
