I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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