Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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