I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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