I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Enjoy the penises
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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