i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
