Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
