at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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