I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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