She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
