Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
