I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize