You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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