i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
