How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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