im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize