We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
