from now on my penis is your penis
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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