Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
where am i from again
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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