wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
