i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
