quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
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