does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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