I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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