And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
