i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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