Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
