hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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