I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
