And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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