I saw his package. It spoke to me.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
the liver wants what the liver wants
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
