my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
