I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
