so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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