How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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